January 2010
I feel very unstable
All day I just felt like bawling.
I am not too upset about Grease…I really don’t think that’s it.
I just, I felt so free and happy last night at the dance auditions.
I haven’t felt good at something for awhile, and just meeting and helping new people just made me so excited to experience something I’ve never done before.
Maybe it’s because I was so happy to...
College
=
Stressful
FAFSA
=
More stressful
Why did I apply to so many colleges?
Because you didn’t think you’d get in anywhere.
Humbug.
My iTunes won't open.
Oh technology, how I love thee…
I like poetry timed writes..though i’m sure I’ll receive a 4 haha.
It’s just that I felt I understood what was going on and what every detail meant.
Poems are like little puzzles, fitting all the pieces together and wondering why each device fits into each analysis so perfectly. They’re murder mystery stories.
And I am now...
Im not going to call
because im stubborn and mean and stupid.
Still though, it’s just the same situation everytime he’s with them.
But then i’m probably the same situation everytime i’m with them..
This doesn’t make any sense.
I dont care, should’ve went to those two parties. Epic fail on my part.
I’m not going to call.
I wrote this a long time ago
“On a pier I looked out into the ocean, while it swayed beneath my feet. My eyes adjusted to the darkness and the thin horizon was unknown to me. All the black and all the waves seemed to be coming at me, for me. What an odd moment.”
Hm. Interesting…
“just tried on my uniform, am too sore to take it off..this was a bad idea.”
– Good ‘ol Becca
The Heist
I love dancing
I do not love being sore
…I am nervous for competition.
Yeah.
“Just chillin’ with the old homies”
– Thaniel
Amazing Night!!!
Amazing.
Just because it was super low key and my friends are super amazing.
Also, because Danny wasn’t being a crazy out of control freak.
I miss him a lot.
He redecorated his room and it looks really nice.
I don’t know. I definitely don’t like him AT ALL. I just love his company and conversation.
And Andrew Mewborn/Thaniel/Tan/Jas/Dan. Gaaah
Hookah. Chipotle....
At Danny's
Everything is normal.
We
Are
Stoked.
Im a silly lookin thing you see
full of birds and bubbles and bumble bees
““CAN’T YOU HEAR ME KNOCKING?”
-thestones”
It's one of those days
You know?
The ones where you can’t breathe even though the air is as clear as it will ever be.
Reasoner wrote me a letter over facebook.
I have nothing to say back, so maybe I just won’t reply.
Collin gives me stability, but I still don’t know if it’s enough to stand on my own two feet.
Before I start studying for Art History..
meriendasfrescas:
Last night I spent the night at Jasreen’s and I looked through thousands of photos from before senior year. It was the weirdest feeling. I’ve never wanted to cry and vomit and felt so nostalgic all at once before. Jasreen makes me nostalgic—I think it’s because she’s been the one constant in my life since the 8th grade.
To the fairy store!
Im so confused. You need to help...
Because Becca made me
and now I kind of like this…a lot. Xanga, there’s just people who…gah I don’t know.
I guess it’s time to list this so I don’t forget
Again because of Becca…
In 2009 I:
Got really drunk at Jaqui’s New Years party and died slowly inside
Told David about Danny and Andreas.
Found out David was fucking a bird the day he went home.
Broke up with...
